Off Of My Chest
We all have our own personal issues, problems, predicaments. Some are large and some are small. And we all think that our own personal problems are much more significant than everyone else’s issues.
I like to blame as much as I can on the weather, friends, strangers, the government, the rich, the poor, it really doesn’t matter. Of course at this age I am blessed with being able to blame almost every single circumstance on Menopause. If there is one good thing about Menopause – this is certainly it. You can blame virtually anything on menopause, and trust me I do. Seriously think about it – who in the hell is going to question me, except perhaps another menopausal woman – in which case things could turn real ugly – real fast. So far I have been lucky, most of my girlfriends are younger than me so I am safe. Which is good because I am weak. And small.
And being small – is partly how this weeks problem all started. See – I can blame part of my latest predicament on being small – which is not my fault – but obviously the fault of Biology.
Biology has made me small. I certainly could go further and blame my biology on my parents odd choice in mating with each other- however I will just lay the blame on Biology. I do not need to delve into the psychology of my parents mating choices. I have so many other things I like to blame my parents for.
Okay – so Biology has made me small- and I have small little boobs. In fact they are so small I really don’t even need a bra. At least not for support. But because I have a job and have to work with people – I have to wear nice clothes. So I wear a bra under my cute little tops , you know – just for coverage. And I like to buy the nice padded bras, or the water bras, or the fancy gel filled bras, because they actually make me look like I have a little bit going on up top. (which I really don’t). I am pretty sure that all the Big Chested Gals out there think they have the market cornered on “Boob Problems” . Well – I hope some of them read this and understand that us less endowed girls have boobie issues all of our own. Yes we do. And you know what – I bet none of “them”, The big breasted gals, will ever even have this problem.
This week my problem is that of the dented bra. Yes – I have a DENT in my padded bra. And it won’t come out. I don’t know how the dent got there – because if anyone tried to actually touch me there they would have a dent in their face. And don’t think that the dent in my bra is not an issue. It is because it is visible. I look like I am deformed. It looks as though a grizzly bear slashed a big slice right out of my poor, pathetic, fake boob.
This obviously could never ever be a problem that the Big Chested Gals could ever experience anyways, because their big knockers would just force the dent out on its own….. right? Well – we will probably never know because they (the chesty gals) probably don’t need padding in their bras to begin with. Why would they – that doesn’t even make sense. So – I think we can all agree that this really is just a problem specific to only us flat chested gals.
Now – I really don’t know who I can blame the dent in my bra on. However I am slightly worried that part of the blame may actually lay on my own shoulders. So to speak. But -its not what you are thinking. You see – it is quite possible that I did not get my “whites” done in time . Let me explain…..
The warm summer weather is upon us all . And for those of us who wear bras – I wonder if you are like me and find that you wear more White Bras in the summer ??!! Well – I definatley wear more white bras in the summer time.
Now – if you combine the frequency of the white bra wearing in with the the complexities laundry – life can get quite tricky.
As most of us know – the timing of laundry is such an important aspect of life. Well – at least my life. The “white basket” specifically has its own special needs. It is not normal laundry. And because the white basket does not fill up as quick as the other laundry baskets, it can cause problems this time of year. All of a sudden the White Bras are being tossed in on a much more frequent basis. Now when you throw a bunch of extra white spring tennis socks, new white T-shirts, frilly white work blouses – Well do I really need to say more? I think not. It is obvious that in the winter the white bras stand out in the laundry – but in the spring, OMG – they just get lost in the frenzy of warm weather white wearing.
Gosh – I got way off track again – Darned Menopausal Mind of mine!
I will leave it up to you. You may have jumped to the conclusion that the Dent in my little padded bra was somehow my fault. But clearly I cleared up this issue for myself and have given you all evidence that even I cannot take the blame for this problem. We can directly link this problem not only to biology, but also the weather. The fact that my dirty whites were piling up in secondary to all other factors.
There – I am so glad to get this dented problem off of my chest, and that I can clearly blame it on something other than myself.