Life is Weird

Endless Insanity

Archive for the category “Aliens”

Mermaids and Purple Pillows

As you all know I have been suffering from severe insomnia. I have been so exhausted that I was starting to feel sick. Anyhow – I know you have all heard enough of my whining and complaining about it. But you must admit that I have become quite skilled at this “Crying Game’.

I would like to take this opportunity to Thank my sidekick “Menopause” for taking all the blame – she has been a real trooper. I have knocked her around like an old soccer ball for the last few months, holding her responsible for virtually everything wrong in my insomniac world. It could well be that I am starting to love my Menopause. Even though she can be nasty and a total body bully, she has proven herself to be a loyal punching bag. I realize as I write this she is probably plotting her revenge right now. She knows I am feeling good. She has realized she has slipped in her attack against me – Because I have Slept.

Yes people I have Slept! I got Sleep! I was Sleeping! No matter how you want to say it – It Happened! I would thank God – but he gets credit for so much. This time I am giving all the credit to Mermaids. And Purple Pillows. In that order….Mermaids first, Purple pillows second.

There is a complex chain of events that led to this miraculous event of my Sleep so I will start at the beginning. Yes – I know – you have all heard that before. Just relax, calm down, and bare with me. It will all make sense in the end.

So – on Friday night my Jack Russell Zoey was sick. This demanded my full attention for most of the night. I love my baby girl even more than The Dollar Store, and she is never sick – never! I know that all of you fellow Puppy-Parents understand what a stressful evening this was. This dog would not leave my side – she was all over me – which is weird . I mean she usually follows me around, but its with a ball in her mouth -nagging me to throw it for her. She dose not nag for lovey dove attention. It was obvious she was not her normal hyper active, ball catching, freezie eating self. I was quite certain there would be an expensive visit to the Vet the following day. Anyhow – after finally getting “The Zo” (that’s what everyone calls her) settled in my arms , we snuggled and snoozed for maybe 3 hours before my friend Gary calls me at 7:00AM and announces he is on his way to pick me up for Saturday Yard Sailing. Is he out of his mind??! Obviously I would never ever leave “The Zo” at home sick, I am a good mother. A very Good mother! After getting a little coffee in my system Gary convinces me to go yard sailing and to bring “The Zo” with us. I agree. I get myself together as best I can, after a lousy 3 hours of sleep, and the Zo and I hop into his truck. We are off!

It was the right decision. The Zo livened up as the morning went along and she enjoyed driving from house to house as much as I did. Obviously she is no stranger to compliments and she got more than her share that morning. After having a good poop on someones lawn she really came back to life. Yes Yes Yes – I picked it up. Like I said – I am a good mother.

During my most enjoyable morning of yard sailing – I spent a total of $13.00. I really got a lot of wonderful deals. I would go on to list them all , but I will just tell you the best find of the day. A Pair of Gorgeous, soft, and plush beyond belief Purple Pillows. It was love at first sight. Purple is my favorite color, and I have a lot of purple tones in my bedroom, so these pillows were a perfect fit for my plush and soft girly bedroom.

As much as I would like to just cut to the chase and get to the “Good Part” , I find it is of the utmost importance that I elaborate on the events that follow my morning of Yard Sailing. Don’t worry – I will make it quick – well – as quick as I can – you will see how this all works together – like missing pieces of my insomniac puzzle all coming together like a miracle.

Okay – so Gary drops me off from Yard Sailing – we unload his truck – I take my treasures inside. I am so proud to put the find of the day on my bed. The 2 Gorg (short for Gorgeous) Purple Pillows on my Bed. I decide to NOT finish painting my Bathroom as I should – and for some bizarre reason decide that painting my deck would be a great “afternoon” project. It could only be the lack of sleep and my tired old brain that could somehow calculate this can of worms into being a good idea. So – Gary takes my much better Zoey off to his house so she can relax by his pool – as all princess dogs should. And I actually paint about 80% of my deck. I decide I have done enough for one day and head over to Garys to collect my dog. I feel good about getting so much done , but I am really really super tired. I get to Garys and flop on his comfy couch near his pool. Its so nice and relaxing. Of course he has a big screen TV by his pool -so this is perfect for me….. Sitting on a comfy outdoor couch, by a pool, in the nice fresh air and watching whatever it is on the TV.

Heres where things get weird. Amazing – but weird.

As I relax and sip on my Coke Zero….Gary asks me if I want to watch a Documentary on Mermaids. OMG – how foolish is this man ?? Seriously?? !! – Mermaids. I almost laugh in his face – however – I am really just to tired to win this argument with him and I agree to the Mermaid Documentary. This ended up being a life changing event. I know – how weird is that!!

I would need to write a short essay to prove my point on the existence of mermaids. All I can say – Is that you Must must must watch the Animal Planet Documentary on Mermaids. Please please please watch this. I will probably have to write more about this later on….its just so amazing.

The point is – is that I have been unable to sleep for months. And the moment I learn the truth about Mermaids – that they really do exist (even thought they are not pretty and have flowing hair like the Disney mermaids) – I Sleep. And I mean I hard-core sleep. Almost a coma. For 12 hours straight . Well there could have been a coma-tose pee break somewhere in there….but nothing to really mention – so never mind.

So I give full credit to the Mermaids that I am now sleeping again. A girls dreams can come true. Toss in a pair of Gorg purple pillows – and its a whole new world. A world I never thought I would be a part of again. One of dreams, snoring, sweaty pj’s, and even alarm clocks.

And I do not forget my close friend/enemy/nemesis named “Menopause”, because even though she seems to have finally lost this war (which really she had to – since there is no winning against a Mermaid) , I do not forget her. I do not forget her – or her sneaky bag of tricks. I know she will show her ugly head again. But at least for now – I can sleep with the Mermaids.

On Gorg purple pillows!!



Anyone that knows me knows how much I enjoy a Good Conspiracy “Theory”. I really do. Love Love Love Them. In fact I get so excited just thinking about it that I barely know where to begin. So bare with me on this one – it may be almost impossible to keep my thoughts in order. I wish I could just draw you an image of my thoughts – because this would surely make more sense. Anyhow – hang in there…

The thing is – is that – they are not really “Conspiracy Theories” . To my brilliant menopausal and insomniac mind they are just Obvious Truths. Seriously. The “REAL” Conspiracy is Obviously calling the certain subjects at hand a Conspiracy. Who is it that decides to call things a Conspiracy? Who is it that spreads the word, and attempts to disguise the undeniable truths by masking it with the word “Conspiracy”.

See – even the Word “Conspiracy” is a shrouded by Conspiracy.

I mean come on people. Lets start with the Obvious. Let look at the following 2 examples :

1. Who shot JFK. This is a famous “Conspiracy Theory”.

But why is it called a conspiracy ? We all know the answer. We all know that Lee Harvey Oswald was named as the killer. We all know that he did not shoot JFK. We know that “They” want us to believe that. “They” even had to get Jack Ruby to kill Lee Harvey Oswald so we could not ever hear the truth from his lips. Anyhow – this example is just so obvious to all of us who have done our own research. The answer is “THEY” killed JFK.

The murder of JFK leads right into another story that some would call a Conspiracy Theory – but its not.

2. The death of a Beauty. Marilyn Monroe. An accidental Death? A Suicide. Obviously Not! I think we all know who killed Marilyn Monroe. And we All know it was “HIM” not “THEM”. It was “HIM” – “He” was responsible.

These 2 Examples are like Prehistoric versions of the New improved Conspiracy Theories. The truths of these stories are so sloppily painted over, Its like a bad white wash on an old deck. The word “conspiracy” is just attached to certain events to try and confuse us all. To cast a shadow of doubt.

Before I move forward – I must clear up the obvious – just so we are all on the same page. I am aware that some people out there are still calling UFO’s and Aliens a “Conspiracy”. This seems so elementary to me – but I will help you out with this one. First of all the term UFO – is being used to mean “Unidentified” flying objects. The term “Unidentified” is really not correct because they are flying crafts that do not belong to “Our” world. Which means that by process of that simple elimination – that we have identified them as being Flying Crafts from somewhere else. So let me just sum this up for you – There are flying crafts out there that are not made by anyone on Earth. And there are being in those flying crafts that were not born on Earth. See how simple that was. Now it is clear that there is indeed Flying Saucers from outer space – and obviously Aliens are flying them.

I will admit that I have been amused and entertained for years with all of the books, movies, and articles that surround Flying Objects, Aliens, and Other Worlds. And the stories surrounding places like Roswell and Area 51 – well they are just that. Stories. Stories “They” make up to give to “Us” – the general population. “They” need stories to cover up “their” expensive little games, their expensive little secrets…. the ones “We” all pay for but don’t know about.

I must say that Today’s New Improved Conspiracy Theories are all Fascinating and totally Enjoyable.! There is 9-11, The Illuminati with its New World Order, The manufacturing of the Aids virus. I love all of these topics , but I would have to write my own book to explain my thoughts on them all. Once again , all I can say is: Why are they being called a Conspiracy? Is it because there are truths about all of these subjects that people just cannot face. Or they just don’t want to know. But for the group of us who know and love these topics, we also realize that when “They” put the term “Conspiracy” in conjunction with them – that “They” are just trying to insinuate there is some un-truths, or unknowns.

So I hope I have shed some light on this for everyone. Its easy. Theories are fine , just remember that when “They” throw the word “conspiracy” in front of anything at all – it just means “Big Fat Lies” . So under the Conspiracy lies the truth.
If you need to know the truth on any of these “theories” – feel free to just ask me. You could ask Paul McCartney – but the “real” Paul McCartney died in the 60’s. Your best bet is to ask an Alien because they know pretty much everything.

Good night all.

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